April 2026

From a clean slate

Saint Creature April 18, 2026 No Comments

Of the TV series that I liked, there was one that I didn’t talk about. I plan to watch it again to revive the memories and feelings. I remember that I liked the music in it. It’s a bit melancholic.

I was surprised that two years ago I had a post with the same name . I think the title of the post also matched the title of this series. In general, it is about a man who moves to a new city and plans to start all over again. He used to have problems with alcohol, so he tries to move away from the past and move on. But certain difficulties in life return him to his previous path, and everyone turns away from him.

I try to live life, but sometimes it’s very difficult, because all your plans and efforts are destroyed by reality, which simply does not allow you to swim to the shore. And this is not about memories of two years ago. That is, not thoughts of suicide or anything else – sometimes you just understand how difficult it is to carry this world on your shoulders. I am now further from suicide than ever, which is why it was even stranger to watch that movie the other day, with the understanding that you know how it is, and you are more scared not by what you see, but by what you want to say “oh no… you don’t do it that way, let me show you how…”.

I couldn’t erase myself from this world then, and I became curious about what it would be like if I did everything the other way around. If I tried to live it? This is life, no matter what. I’m not afraid of the TCC or checkpoints not because I believe in my status. In fact, under this status, I’m dead as a soldier. I’m more interested in something else – they caught me somewhere. Busified me. What’s next? With those electronic registers and other things…where they know more about you than you do. How will I get through the VLK and where will I end up? It would be an adventure, that’s how I feel about it.

I was given the chance to live freely, and I’m taking advantage of it. Sometimes it’s harder than I’d like. Sometimes it’s incomprehensible. But I’m trying my best…