Fear
Saint Creature Sometimes I am filled with fear. Read More
Thoughts
September 1
Around September 1 or 2, you feel that autumn has come, when you go to school, university or technical school, it’s already a little cooler – and this is “the same sign” – in the same way, sometimes, you feel that you have become part of a relationship. Without loud statements. Without clear responsibilities. Without obvious limitations. But internally you felt – yes. This is it.
Adult life, like adult relationships, is when you are able to feel the tone of the conversation and change the topic, even when you have never met a person. You just feel that this is not the topic that is comfortable for your partner. Although you have neither eye contact nor hearing. You just see that it is “not comfortable”. And you change it to another. And a lot of things that you are used to in ordinary relationships. That is, the level of understanding. Other people’s comfort zones. Talking about all sorts of little things that everyone sees in their own way. This can be called “you haven’t seen each other yet – but you are already talking like a married couple”. And a meeting is just a signature on a conditional document that everything that was said before – will be true and will be so in the future.
In two weeks of online communication, I went through “all the stages” that are typical of classic relationships. Difficult moments, misunderstandings – all of that. It was there. But there was also a person who listened. And this once again shows that you can talk about anything with someone who wants to hear you. And this automatically means that everyone who was “before” didn’t want to hear you. This is the answer to the question, “what was wrong with me at one time or another?”. There’s nothing wrong with you – it was wrong with the person you came across.
I never finished writing the article about dating apps, but now it would have turned out in a direction that a couple of weeks ago I would have considered fantastic. With one caveat. This was the first experience of the platforms for both of us.
Let’s move on, the journey is interesting and incredible…
Angry
…when there are no dreams or notifications from you,
when songs and eternity are not written… Read More
Social Services
Let’s talk about my new work on the song Hohlan – Social Services Read More
And I know exactly how this ends..
Somehow, everyone has become depressed. And somehow it seems to me that everyone is simply s..icked by the three words “heat”, “ballistics”, and “what the fuck did I make depressed?” The last word is the most important, because it includes any circumstances. It is different for everyone. For me, it is about a cold (probably) with a temperature. But it is not about me.
There is an overabundance of narratives that are thrown at us in our lives. They work especially well in conditions of discomfort – it doesn’t matter if it’s hot or cold. But it’s at these moments that you give up and start thinking “..but maybe?..” – it’s about the desire to move. It’s about fatigue from the life that has surrounded you for God knows how many years. About anxiety. About disbelief in tomorrow.
Yes, I am the same “cheese maker” who writes one thing today and will write another tomorrow. But right now, in the moment, I am here to say that life goes on. It doesn’t matter if we lost someone yesterday or a year ago. It doesn’t matter where you live. It is important to live and believe in your tomorrow. Whatever it may be. Only with faith in tomorrow will it come. Only with a vision of this very tomorrow will you be able to move on.
It’s strange that Linkin Park’s The Emptiness Machine inspired such thoughts. This same “the emptiness machine” wants to crush us all. But we won’t let it…right?..
..if you can change one thing..
At such moments I feel like I need someone’s advice, but there is no one. I think it’s a fear of making your own decisions. Of the moment when you are asked “..and what will you do next?..”. Read More
EXP Date
Why are we always looking for signs?..why do the numbers on the packaging decide more than we do?.. Read More
Threads is the blogging Tinder for the poor
I returned to Threads after deleting my account. It’s like starting from scratch. And what can I say? On average, 2 out of 3 comments are about toxicity. One person wrote what was asked for, one wrote something stupid that was deleted immediately (and with a swear word). Another one… advertised her services under the guise of an answer. A classic for this social network. Why did I return there? I don’t understand it specifically at this point.
We all do stupid things sometimes, don’t we?
They say.. (opinions about dating apps)
..that he who does not seek finds. But does he then need to “find” anyone at all? Read More
You’re gonna go far, kid..
“There’s something in your way
And now someone is gonna pay
And if you can’t get what you want
Well, it’s all because of me”(c) The Offspring Read More