..I don’t think it will get easier from now on. In every sense. This doesn’t mean you should stop.
I let go of the person, I apologized. I don’t know when my words are designed to hurt someone, and when to hurt myself. But I understand that sometimes it’s easier for me to be alone. Because that’s the only way you can’t hurt someone.
I tell myself this every time and I forget every time.
One day I’ll turn my steering wheel the wrong way. Literally. It won’t be today, it won’t be tomorrow. But I just know that the choice of the day of my death will be my choice. I can always run a red light, because I know that “today is not the day..” And I don’t know when it will happen. I just feel that one day the cup will be full. I’m still moving. I’m moving on. I once predicted that I wouldn’t live to be 30. And here I am, 30. After 30, I began to believe that I wouldn’t live to be 40. Let’s see?..I think there will be a post after 40. I know, it scares people who are already older. But they never thought about the things that I carried inside me since I was 17 or maybe even earlier. Where did I go wrong? Where did I, figuratively speaking, turn my steering wheel the wrong way? Was that acquaintance in 2007 a mistake that reflected on my entire life?
I think not. It is always easier for us to blame one event, one person, one period in life. We always had a choice. And our life is only the result of our choices. Choices may not always be right, but as long as you live “in the moment” – you continue to choose.
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