It’s interesting that…

Under the guise of accepting you as you are, people often subconsciously try to change you. Change you to suit themselves. They tell you “yes, that’s good. I accept you, but…” – and these little “buts” are not noticeable. They don’t sound like literal “buts”. They just resemble some kind of training. When your reality and your perception of yourself and what is “ok” and “not ok” are replaced with what is convenient for them. Inside you think that they accept you as you are. In fact, they are just imperceptibly turning you into something. Something that you were not yesterday.

Sometimes it feels like adult women are the most manipulative people who are tired of “looking for the one as is”, and… they just mold you or someone else into something that will best meet their requirements. If the mold doesn’t work out, they throw it away and go look for the next one. The experience with a psychologist is exactly how it is perceived now. It’s just that, again, the further you move away from the experience, the clearer it becomes what it was.

Can an adult woman accept you for who you are? There are two options. If she is a “simple” person (it’s not those who write that they are “simple”, it’s those who will tell you that 2 2=5) – she doesn’t care what you are like. If she clearly knows that 2 2=3 – they will make something out of you. Again, there is a stupid idea that some people go “to psychology” precisely for this. Not to understand themselves. Not to help others. To manipulate those in relation to whom it is convenient. To learn to “read” people on whom… you simply won’t waste your time. It’s like playing games with cheat codes.

Someone will say that he went into psychology to protect himself from manipulators, but… he doesn’t notice how he becomes one himself. Because he knows the specifics of the work of such people. Perhaps that is one of the reasons why I try to stay away from people who have chosen this direction as a job. Understanding that you will be an eternal patient. A free experimental subject who is always there…

I have had the experience of being in a psychiatric hospital and I know what it is like – a feeling of helplessness, when nothing depends on your “want”. This is the most terrible feeling I have ever encountered. And it only seems that this is shown only in films. And when you are faced with this clearly – there is nothing more terrible…

Is a relationship with a psychologist about something similar? Is it hard to get out of it? Is it easy to let go of it?…I wouldn’t like to know…because, maybe, it’s for the best, that they perceived me as “weak” for them.