Movie People Personal Thoughts

Wong Kar Wai

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I had a person who ended up at the beginning of the year. I had a lot of people, but I don’t single them all out. I singled her out.

Because she had a wonderful work. She was one of those people who inspires me. Who gave me not new music, but a new favorite director – Wong Kar-wai. We only reconnected with her once. And I didn’t see the point in doing it a second time, or a third time. Why?

Because she didn’t understand me.

I have different creativity. At one moment it’s me:

In the second moment it’s me:

In the third moment, it’s me too:

It’s amazing how much you can be on the same wavelength with a person in one plane, and in another she writes to you, as if about some third person, “I don’t understand why you need to brag about this. Showing it to people… I have nothing against it when a person does it for themselves, but why for show”. Two out of two times our communication ended precisely at this moment – the understanding that a person will never accept you completely. She perceives you not even 1/3 (the first), but simply as someone who can give her love and warmth, but in relation to whom she cannot simply give her acceptance, that people are “..and such”.

I may be different, I look different, but I always remain myself. I am me. The one you talked to yesterday, the one who helped you with your chores yesterday, repaired your equipment, shared poems, cleaned your chimney, showed you an incredible sunset. Being different, I remain myself. In different guises. Maria Tchaikovsky came to mind.

“ I will be with you,
You can take my hands,
Always with you
No matter in what guise.”

The person left behind a list of wonderful films, including the works of the wonderful Hong Kong director Wong Kar-wai. I recommend watching his “In the Mood for Love”. And he also left behind the understanding that a person can be “okay” with free relationships, threesomes, same-sex love, and other similar experiments. You accept all this because you love a person for who they are. You accept any of their sides and worldview, except violence (they didn’t have this in them, but this is something that you can’t accept in others in relation to anyone). And they don’t give you the opportunity to be yourself.

Adult life is not always about mutual understanding between two people aged +-40.

People Psychology Thoughts

The reality of dating in Ukraine

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After a few weeks of “research,” I’ve come to a mixed opinion. About 4 out of 5 people on the platforms are not looking for relationships, but… support. Yes, yes. Exactly support.

I’ll say right away that I don’t do human experiments or research for the sake of research. I’m just used to observing trends that happen and watching how certain things happen. So it doesn’t mean that this was done for research without people’s consent. Just my own experience.

One person was morally exhausted from work and construction. As she herself would later say, she needed a strong person nearby who could support her. And this is quite logical, because living in this reality, in the fifth year of the war, anyone will need support.

The second person found herself in a reality where her hometown was constantly under shelling and she was forced to leave for another, safer place. A new place, a new life, a small child. I can bet that many people will see themselves in this example. Because, unfortunately, these are not isolated examples of people who are forced to change their place of residence from time to time. Not in search of a “happy life”, but simply in the desire to be in a more protected space. All of these people could go abroad, but they are Ukrainians – they want to stay at home, even though this “home” changes its location.

A few more people are looking, first of all, for friendly communication. And, sometimes, it is in communication that people find a thaw – in conversations about creativity, cinema, common hobbies. But one gets the feeling that all people are not thinking about the future that will come tomorrow. They live in the present, trying to find “available sources of nutrition” in other hearts.

Reality is changing dynamically, we are like those satellites on the surface of the planet – moving around the country, looking for a place where we will be at least a little calmer. What are the chances that two “satellites” will choose the same route? I think it is very relative. Because now each of us does not have a clear understanding of what to call our home. For someone it is another city, for someone it is another country. And that is why people are looking for support in someone close to them. In their native language. To get at least some stability.

The problem is that all people who live in the same conditions need the same support, and its resource is not unlimited. Therefore, we get a vicious circle of expectations that are not justified. People grow apart in search of not another person. Not a relationship. People go further to look for support from those from whom they have not yet received it.

Thoughts

What is dead cannot die.

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Indeed. If a person gives up so quickly and does not want to make another attempt, this only indicates that the person needed you only as a strong part. But any person cannot be strong 24/7 and, from time to time, needs support himself. If a person does not understand and does not accept this, the question arises, do you need a person who is only ready to receive and not give anything in return? Relationships are always about two. About supporting each other. About understanding that everyone has their weaknesses at one point or another. About second chances. But she said her “no”.

Maybe I was more of a psychological experience for her than a person she would ever love. We’ll never know. But sometimes it’s better to end something like this early, before you get even more traumatized, than to believe that one day you’ll get from this person what you needed – mutual love and support.

Ps In a sense, this is my test of people. Internal. If a person does not want to make another attempt – they did not need the first one. If a person agrees to money – it was not the minutes of your interaction that were valuable to them, but at least some benefit, if they did not get exactly what they wanted. Even if it is under the guise of “it is not necessary”.

Art Photos

Happy Feels Like v01

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Over the past two days I have listened to this song many times. And what is interesting, the feeling when I first heard it and now – they are different. I will not talk about the idea that was primary. But there should have been an open hand. And these three words should also have been written on the fingers. But without any gesture.

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18+ Art Photos

Social services (ref)

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Mom told me not to post in And the network has such pictures. But did I listen to her?..

This is a ref, or rather not quite – this is a part of the work that will have a lot of meaning in the plane of the full work. What is it that is being reflected? I would call it a comedic reflection of the Oscar statuette, because instead of a sword in my hands I have… a broom for cleaning cobwebs.

Today I have another, in my opinion no less interesting, job, and this one… I think I’ll finish it in a few days 🙂

People Personal Thoughts

I think I’m imagining it?..

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I catch myself in this state again when I realize that it’s all just in my head. I’m again not correctly perceiving other people’s emotions. Maybe it’s empathy, maybe interest in certain aspects of a person. But no more. And I can step on the same rake again if I perceive something differently. The world doesn’t work in my image and likeness. All people are different and not like me. In general, this should be perceived as “if I think something is like this – it means it’s not like this, but completely different”. And now is the moment when you should catch it.

I like to substitute my values ​​into the formula instead of “X” and “Y”, getting the results that would satisfy me. But you have to remember that I am always “insufficient”. For other people, something in me is always not enough for something to happen. At such moments you are most vulnerable, and every little thing can knock you off track. Are you ready for this time?..

It would be strange for me, at least once, to meet someone just like me. No games. No substitutions of the desired for the real. A person who would believe me. But can you be believed if, sometimes, you don’t believe yourself?..Your openness is killing you. It kills anything, because people don’t like openness. They need a mystery. A secret that they will want to find in you. Something personal that remains inside…

“Talk to me, talk to me
Won’t you make it all make sense?
Caught between the memories
Of yesterday and who we were back then
But I’ve been here before
So I think I know the score
Hit me when I’m sore..”

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Movie People Personal Thoughts

Wong Kar Wai

People Psychology Thoughts

The reality of dating in Ukraine 2.0

People Psychology Thoughts

The reality of dating in Ukraine

Thoughts

Love yourself. Forgive yourself