I continue to study the specifics of building relationships at the age of 30+. I am increasingly inclined to believe that it is easier for two men to build a relationship with each other than to build a classic heterosexual relationship. Why? Read More
After a few weeks of “research,” I’ve come to a mixed opinion. About 4 out of 5 people on the platforms are not looking for relationships, but… support. Yes, yes. Exactly support.
I’ll say right away that I don’t do human experiments or research for the sake of research. I’m just used to observing trends that happen and watching how certain things happen. So it doesn’t mean that this was done for research without people’s consent. Just my own experience.
One person was morally exhausted from work and construction. As she herself would later say, she needed a strong person nearby who could support her. And this is quite logical, because living in this reality, in the fifth year of the war, anyone will need support.
The second person found herself in a reality where her hometown was constantly under shelling and she was forced to leave for another, safer place. A new place, a new life, a small child. I can bet that many people will see themselves in this example. Because, unfortunately, these are not isolated examples of people who are forced to change their place of residence from time to time. Not in search of a “happy life”, but simply in the desire to be in a more protected space. All of these people could go abroad, but they are Ukrainians – they want to stay at home, even though this “home” changes its location.
A few more people are looking, first of all, for friendly communication. And, sometimes, it is in communication that people find a thaw – in conversations about creativity, cinema, common hobbies. But one gets the feeling that all people are not thinking about the future that will come tomorrow. They live in the present, trying to find “available sources of nutrition” in other hearts.
Reality is changing dynamically, we are like those satellites on the surface of the planet – moving around the country, looking for a place where we will be at least a little calmer. What are the chances that two “satellites” will choose the same route? I think it is very relative. Because now each of us does not have a clear understanding of what to call our home. For someone it is another city, for someone it is another country. And that is why people are looking for support in someone close to them. In their native language. To get at least some stability.
The problem is that all people who live in the same conditions need the same support, and its resource is not unlimited. Therefore, we get a vicious circle of expectations that are not justified. People grow apart in search of not another person. Not a relationship. People go further to look for support from those from whom they have not yet received it.
One of Florence + The Machine’s songs starts with some interesting lines. They’re about how you can only love and forgive someone by loving and forgiving yourself. What if you changed it? Read More
Indeed. If a person gives up so quickly and does not want to make another attempt, this only indicates that the person needed you only as a strong part. But any person cannot be strong 24/7 and, from time to time, needs support himself. If a person does not understand and does not accept this, the question arises, do you need a person who is only ready to receive and not give anything in return? Relationships are always about two. About supporting each other. About understanding that everyone has their weaknesses at one point or another. About second chances. But she said her “no”.
Maybe I was more of a psychological experience for her than a person she would ever love. We’ll never know. But sometimes it’s better to end something like this early, before you get even more traumatized, than to believe that one day you’ll get from this person what you needed – mutual love and support.
Ps In a sense, this is my test of people. Internal. If a person does not want to make another attempt – they did not need the first one. If a person agrees to money – it was not the minutes of your interaction that were valuable to them, but at least some benefit, if they did not get exactly what they wanted. Even if it is under the guise of “it is not necessary”.
Over the past two days I have listened to this song many times. And what is interesting, the feeling when I first heard it and now – they are different. I will not talk about the idea that was primary. But there should have been an open hand. And these three words should also have been written on the fingers. But without any gesture.
“Leave us together,
Morning is a hard climb.
Coffee is the strongest alcohol.
We have to go,
We multiply the minutes by zero…
But we pour warm water on ourselves,
But we pour warm water on ourselves…” Read More
Mom told me not to post in And the network has such pictures. But did I listen to her?..
This is a ref, or rather not quite – this is a part of the work that will have a lot of meaning in the plane of the full work. What is it that is being reflected? I would call it a comedic reflection of the Oscar statuette, because instead of a sword in my hands I have… a broom for cleaning cobwebs.
Today I have another, in my opinion no less interesting, job, and this one… I think I’ll finish it in a few days 🙂
I catch myself in this state again when I realize that it’s all just in my head. I’m again not correctly perceiving other people’s emotions. Maybe it’s empathy, maybe interest in certain aspects of a person. But no more. And I can step on the same rake again if I perceive something differently. The world doesn’t work in my image and likeness. All people are different and not like me. In general, this should be perceived as “if I think something is like this – it means it’s not like this, but completely different”. And now is the moment when you should catch it.
I like to substitute my values into the formula instead of “X” and “Y”, getting the results that would satisfy me. But you have to remember that I am always “insufficient”. For other people, something in me is always not enough for something to happen. At such moments you are most vulnerable, and every little thing can knock you off track. Are you ready for this time?..
It would be strange for me, at least once, to meet someone just like me. No games. No substitutions of the desired for the real. A person who would believe me. But can you be believed if, sometimes, you don’t believe yourself?..Your openness is killing you. It kills anything, because people don’t like openness. They need a mystery. A secret that they will want to find in you. Something personal that remains inside…
“Talk to me, talk to me
Won’t you make it all make sense?
Caught between the memories
Of yesterday and who we were back then
But I’ve been here before
So I think I know the score
Hit me when I’m sore..”
A couple of weeks ago, a bright person passed away – my cousin Oleksandr. I would like to remember him a little… Read More
Saint Creature