Two days, two attempts, two chances. Not so. Zero chances. Because we always remain ourselves. I told Daria about this – our problem is that even when we try/want to be or look like someone else, we return to the fact that our behavior does not change, because we are us. In every sense. I asked myself what Sa would do. She recommended being ourselves. In the worst possible way. And these are nails, a provocative earring (two?), and… a gender-neutral T-shirt. Everything we like.
Sa plays her own game…it’s not about wanting to please someone, it’s about wanting to please yourself. To be yourself in that rare moment. Your worse or better half?..gentle. First and foremost.
I would like to learn to pretend to be someone else. Convenient at times. Understanding at times. But I am me. With all the pros and cons. No, I don’t consider the way I sometimes look or perceive myself to be a disadvantage. Quite the opposite.
Sa will not disappear anywhere. From me. From this universe. Because she is the last fuse that saves me from everything that happened then. Sa is an alternative “me” that wanted to live. Which said “I will teach you how to have fun and be yourself. How to make plans and look to the future. How to live despite how difficult it is sometimes”. Music, movies, books, anything else – it doesn’t matter. What is important is the understanding that sometimes I am more Sa than myself. These are not days of mourning, these are days of celebration. As if it were your birthday. Artificial, but okay. I love these days. Shall we have a celebration?..
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