Yes, but no

It’s amazing how my perception and thoughts can change from evening to morning, or rather, day. With my thoughts and actions, I remind myself right now of some maniac who is looking for a victim. The question is whether he is “looking for”, and what exactly is a “victim”. Because the fact is a fact…

Is my world, in this sense, divided into two points of view? And no. Because sometimes it seems that Sa is just waiting to insert his “what the hell?!”. The other half is trying to copulate herself in a state of alcoholic intoxication. Therefore, one thing in the evening, another in the morning. Despite all sorts of coincidences.

We could, of course, add an inferiority complex here. But why? This complex is worthless, just like I am now. Yes, in a sense I am a (good?) hardworking person, but honesty and everything else are not worth anything now. I don’t have any other currency in me. Nevertheless, pride is still there. That’s why I allow myself to do something for someone for free, despite the fact that I desperately need money to pay off my debts now. Because this is my freedom. The day I say the phrase “sorry, but I can’t do it for free, because..” – kill me. I won’t need someone like that…

Maybe I’m just not focused on money? I mean, to somehow earn it en masse and in general? And do I think I should be like that? Maybe..

Each person can be perceived in a different plane. In communication. In relationships. In each plane, each person has their own needs. We only see a fraction of the needs. But how objective is what we see, relative to what is? It always remains a mystery on both sides.

In any case, I let go and I don’t hope for anything, I don’t make plans and thoughts. This is not it. It’s not “because..” – here I will substitute my own version.