Things

There are things you want to ask a person directly, but you already know the answer to that question in your head.

In our head there is always an “ideal” version of events. Which never happens. Because we start from it. And everything you imagine and everything you will have are always different things. Everything you voiced to someone will not come true simply because you voiced it. And internally you look for all the ways to make it different.

I am not waiting for this option for two reasons. The first is that it is questionable. The second is that it is idealized from the point of view of internal perception. The third is that there is a third. you always plan one thing and choose another. Because “in the moment” you are alone, but in life… life is full of surprises.

I think she doesn’t need me. Just like Kas was unnecessary when there were two realities – one where we meet the dawn together, and another where the dawn is a nuclear explosion.

Sometimes people tell you that certain things take time. But in the moment there is no time. There is no time in you. Because you live in the present. And it flies by, somewhere buzzing, outside the window…