You think you can kill me…
Saint Creature …Go ahead and try
Burn me to ashes
Throw me to the masses
Fight me till the day I die…
July 2025
Sometimes
I think I should make an “And” for “And” and write all the stupid things that come to my mind in it. Make it closed so that only I can read it.
I used to not understand why people keep closed diaries if no one can read them. At 35 I understood – but I don’t need to write down my thoughts, because my destructive thoughts are always with me. There are children who build sandcastles, there are children who knock down other children’s sandcastles. I am the child who runs on the beach and destroys the sand. The castles don’t even have time to appear.
First successes
My profile has been accepted for work with Redbubble
There are certain steps in life when you are happy about something, even seemingly insignificant. At the end of last year, I started creating new content for my new self. And in those 8 (or 9?) months, I have a hundred followers on Deviant. But that is a relative achievement. The real achievement is that I started to pay attention to creativity as such, trying to promote myself. I also managed to create an account on Patreon, where anyone can support my creativity. And now, today, I was given permission to sell things with my designs on Redbubble.
I hope this will be one of the first steps towards creative work and independence. Of course, I understand that not everyone succeeds, and I do not bet that my creativity will be as unique, but this is at least an attempt to declare myself as a content creator.
Destruction
My moods at night are somewhat more destructive than during the day. In general, this reminds me of my relationship, when I understood that everything was over, and understood that it would happen either later or earlier. And always in such cases I chose the option “so… why not now?”.
I loved Daria as long as we had stable communication by letters. I knew that she would write an answer on a specific day or time. This gave an understanding of how the world works. Our world. Because with each person we have our own world. And, in a sense, I stopped loving when the schedule started to go wrong. All this refers me to the first long-term relationship, when I began to notice that “something was wrong”, and, as it turned out later, it was. Are people who had one love for their whole lives happier? I guess…
If everyone knew what things I get hurt by (or self-harm) – it would immediately become clearer to them why I’m not the best option for friendship. Because there are so many things in the world that will cause discomfort. If I start to continue this thought, I will come to the conclusion that I don’t want any discomfort, and… well, you get the idea.
For example, our communication with Aaron – I know that he may not answer right away, because he’s busy. He knows that I will answer when I have the mood and time for it. And it’s comfortable. This is the person to whom I have returned the most times in my life, without losing contact. Is it easier for me to be friends with men? Oh. These must be very specific men.
There are many things that I can say now and then regret. Therefore, I won’t say them, because I always know them for myself. And most of all, I would like Sa to shut up that other part of me. Because only she can. In a sense, Sa is the chains I tied myself with to teach myself to live a controlled life. That’s why I’m still here and haven’t done anything stupid.
Some people use asphyxiation in sex to get a more intense orgasm. I wonder if “marinating” yourself in pain and discomfort will give you more creative inspiration? I think I’ll have time to check it out…
Baby, I wear it like a choker (Love&Hate)
She sits there in silence, she’s too scared to speak…
And it will pass…
Sometimes I allow myself to forget about the transience of feelings. A word can give hope, another word can destroy it. And I always trust words very much. And should we trust actions?
In this world we live among PEOPLE. And we must always remember this. Each person has his own plan for life and for you. The only difference is that the plan for life remains with him, and the plans for you always change.
There is one criterion that never changes, and it is stable. And I believe in it. I won’t tell you what that criterion is. I’ll just give you a hint – if you’re reading this, you meet it 🙂
Alternative Creativity
Sometimes creativity is different. Sometimes it’s compatible. This is me and my wife @Talisman2707 prepared preservation for the winter from zucchini caviar 😊
It’s been a while since we’ve done something like this, but it seems like everything worked out 😊
Mens Don’t Cry
Do you also know a way to chop 1 kilogram of onions and not cry?
photogra
I’m stuck on this song…
When I heard it in acoustics, it was absolutely… Read More
I have to cut the heart out
In a literal and figurative sense. It seems that this will be the first experience when I make some kind of props for a photo. Especially since everything is as I like – I will have one chance to do something successful. But I will try. One chance is also good 🙂