life

Life in real time

Saint Creature July 7, 2025 No Comments

I caught myself thinking that life is happening in real time now. Without specific plans and intentions. We are trying to find additional sources of income here and now. At the same time, we are planning a trip to the Czech Republic, which is unknown how and where it will end. With the understanding that if we go there, we have to stay, at least until we return the money invested in the trip.

The uncertainty of what will happen tomorrow, not to mention what will happen in a week, prompts us to think through every step. Look at the situation soberly, without any glasses. Choosing a path for yourself, you always try to choose the best. And it’s good to understand that your mother has no questions about why you are going, but still, go if there is a good moment. Because she understands that in the current reality any option is good, provided that what will happen will not be worse than now. This is valuable.

Sometimes I feel like I’m responsible for what happened yesterday, what’s happening today, and what’s going to happen tomorrow. That is, I’m doing three things at the same time in three time periods. Which makes me very tired, and I don’t have time for anything. I want to make a video and write a post, and do household chores, but I’m not enough for everything at once. Just physically.

Somewhere inside there is a feeling of change. That something will change soon. Seriously. Her attitude towards gays and in general made me laugh. It’s nice when a person is on the same wavelength with you. In general, understanding that you can interact with a person who has a similar worldview inspires and makes the path easier. Sometimes it seems that it would be much easier for me to understand how to act and what to do on the spot than trying to solve something from here. That on the spot I will find myself and prove myself. It often seems that people simply don’t let themselves be shown so that they can see how useful you will be to them. Because my essence is such that I always and everywhere try to be useful. And in general, only in this way can you achieve something. Only when people understand that they cannot do without you.

I do not make plans about where and when I will be, and whether I will live here or somewhere else. Recently, a poem by a famous Ukrainian poet has been mentioned more and more often. It is very much reflected inside somewhere. In the original language and translation…

“Мені однаково, чи буду
Я жить в Україні, чи ні.
Чи хто згадає, чи забуде
Мене в снігу на чужині —
Однаковісінько мені.

В неволі виріс між чужими,
І, неоплаканий своїми,
В неволі, плачучи, умру,
І все з собою заберу —
Малого сліду не покину
На нашій славній Україні,
На нашій — не своїй землі.
I не пом’яне батько з сином,
Не скаже синові: — Молись.
Молися, сину: за Вкраїну
Його замучили колись. —

Мені однаково, чи буде
Той син молитися, чи ні…
Та не однаково мені,
Як Україну злії люди
Присплять, лукаві, і в огні
Її, окраденую, збудять…
Ох, не однаково мені.”(с)Т.Г. Шевченко

“I don’t care whether
I live in Ukraine or not.
Whether anyone remembers or forgets
Me in the snow in a foreign land —
It’s all the same to me.

In captivity I grew up among strangers,
And, unlamented by my own,
In captivity, crying, I will die,
And I will take everything with me —
I will not leave a small trace
On our glorious Ukraine,
On our – not our own land.
And the father will not remember with his son,
He will not say to his son: — Pray.
Pray, son: for Ukraine
He was tortured once. —

I don’t care whether
That son will pray or not…
But only one thing is matters to me.
How evil people are destroying Ukraine.
She will be robbed and forgotten.
This one thing is matters to me.” (c) T.H. Shevchenko