Only Happy When It Rains

“..I’m only happy when it’s complicated
And though I know you can’t appreciate it
I’m only happy when it rains

You know I love it when the news is bad
Why it feels so good to feel so sad?
I’m only happy when it rains..”

This morning I remembered this song. And what’s interesting is that my attitude towards it in the morning and in the evening was somewhat different. In the morning I wanted to take off a glass with something… and make it “rain” from above. By the evening something had changed, and I wanted to do makeup and have it all spread. But the thing is that the makeup that I had didn’t smear under the drops. In the pictures later I smeared it. Added a little horror. Then, maybe I’ll post something else from this.

This was my first experience with makeup. That is, when I used it so widely. I don’t know how to draw, so I just decided to start and then add strokes, seeing what would come of it. I started with white, going lower. I wanted to paint my lips. I don’t have red makeup, so I used blue. Somehow it gave a more dramatic shade.

Why do I shave? So that in such pictures you can see (how beautiful it can be) the body. I like how the pictures look from an aesthetic point of view. The lighting was also not bad. A small photo lamp helped me with this, almost at minimum power.

I didn’t give a damn about the idea that the wig would get wet. That the stockings would get wet. That I would have to wash off the makeup for a long time afterwards. That the choker might rust. I just wanted a picture where the sadness would be visible.

I think this song is very close to me right now. Especially when performed by Metallica..

“I’m only happy when it rains
I feel good when things are goin’ wrong
I only listen to the sad, sad songs
I’m only happy when it rains

I only smile in the dark
My only comfort is the night gone black
I didn’t accidentally tell you that
I’m only happy when it rains
You’ll get the message by the time I’m through
When I complain about me and you
I’m only happy when it rains”