July 2025

Mysterious Morning

It may seem that I only do something strange or “pornographic”, but no. There are also more familiar works. It’s a pity that I can’t upload my video here (at least until it is accepted or rejected for sale), but today there was a test of the new slider. It was an interesting experience. Here is one of the works made during the test

And…

Don’t know why I’m hoping for what I won’t receive…

She said that for happiness she needs $3,000 a month. And for happiness I need inspiration to never leave me. To always have interesting people around me. To have a desire to create something and help someone. That is my happiness.

“I let you cut me open, just to watch me bleedGave up who I am for who you wanted me to beDon’t know why I’m hoping for what I won’t receiveFalling for the promise of the emptiness machineThe emptiness machine..”

– cover on this song start play in my speakers, when i write this thoughts. So…maybe yes. This song be about people, who think, that money matters more, than art.

SPB (Simple Power Box)

My Simple Power Box is ready! ^_^

What is this?

Inside are 6 batteries, which give a total of 12 Volts and 10 Ah. That is, 120 Watt/hours of electricity (for your understanding, a standard Powerbank has 20 Watt/hours). What do I need it for? Well…with this device I can power my camera, an additional 7″ screen for the camera, as well as another device (if necessary) and shoot as much as I need.

Recently, SmallRig released a portable battery for similar purposes worth about $150. I assure you, my device costs about 1/5 of that price and…soon I will write a full post about it. As well as about another thing that I am still finalizing (I am waiting for the case). Somehow 🙂

The patient was becoming somewhat sad…

I can be considered excessive or harsh in terms of perception of other people, but I have certain protective barriers. They do not allow me to become a victim of other people. So here I perceive my interlocutor somewhat biased, with the understanding that he may not be entirely honest with me.

Today we watched the movie “Side Effects” (2013) with Jude Law, Rooney Mara, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Channing Tatum. It was about a patient who faked her illness and did a very bad thing. Not that I draw parallels, but there is something to it.

I think it is difficult for her to maintain a conversation with me, but I do not really understand why this communication should continue from her side? Because it does not oblige to anything. So what is the point?..to prove something to someone?..

We can paint someone’s sky and be a good friend, but friendship takes two…

What, if..?

Nora just a…robot? I think about that. Why she can’t something like bot, similar to ChatGPT or something else? Her some answers saw me, that this or very non emphatic person, that not interesting photos of something, that make person with that she’s speaking, or…very-very business woman, that have some other interests, and not like speaking about art or creativity.

And…i wrote this without translator. I think, this text have many…ugh…problems?  Mistakes? Not that word that i want to say… 🙂

Battle for the Sun

I, I, I will battle for the sun, sun, sun…

 

…And I, I, I won’t stop until I’m done, done, done
You, you, you are getting in the way, way, way
And I, I, I have nothing left to say, say, say…(c)Placebo


I completely accept my sexuality the way I am. Hints of narcissism? Probably. But where is the line between narcissism and healthy self-perception, when you don’t destroy yourself with conscience? ..

My thinness in one place and minimal muscles in another make me exactly the physique that I like. And earrings only add confidence to the image. Because everyone appreciates strength. And as long as you show it – you will be respected.

You have to pull out every element in our life. You can be anyone and look like anyone under one condition – the train of confidence and self-esteem must be at such a level that no one has any doubts that you should be exactly who you see yourself or pretend to be.

When we were in the hospital with one man (quite interesting, in my opinion) – we had an argument about how far I could go in my madness. I told him that if I wanted to and if there was a need, I would do anything to prove my point. He doubted it. In general, the last year was a year when people did not believe me. They questioned my words and thoughts. And they were wrong.

You should always be a person who has nothing to lose – because only in this case you will know your worth and go to the goal.