July 2025

Art Hobby Personal Photos

Happy Birthday Aaron

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This work is dedicated to my friend, who celebrates his birthday today. The idea came to me the other day when I saw somewhere an alphabet in the form of body poses. I found a version in which one person was enough and…oh.

There is such a saying “whoever… – does not laugh in the circus”. So – whoever made the letter “D” – does not laugh in the circus! 😀

My pluses are a thin physique. My minuses are that you can’t get away from physiology anywhere, and I’m not my nephew who knows how to do the splits. You immediately understand why people do yoga and what you missed when you didn’t start doing it))

The second part of the work was more experimental. This time I set the camera to manual mode, but the feeling that the white balance or something else was still jumping, changing the lighting a little. Plus, I didn’t take into account the height of the heels a little. Plus, with the “head” it’s not really clear where the frame demarcation line is. Well… I started making this collage when the lights went out. So… I decided to go against fate and not wash or shave before the photo shoot. That’s why I have a light stubble in the photo (although it’s not really visible). I think you understand that this was dedicated to a person, so here I allowed myself to be a little lazy and just do it!

But I couldn’t just take it and do it. I became curious – could I do all this while standing on high heels? The height of the heels is 15 centimetres. I still haven’t learned how to balance on them. So it was funny and strange and fun at the same time.

I made most of the letters right away, without even noticing how. But the problems arose when I had to make “B”, “D”, “O” and “N”. The last one, by the way, was the easiest and completed the name nicely. B was pretty easy, but I wasn’t sure it would turn out well. O made me question it. But D…she came out of hell and went there. So I did what I could)))

P.s. Another peculiarity was that in New Zealand, where Aaron is from, the day starts much earlier than here. So if I hadn’t done it now, I wouldn’t have had time to congratulate him on time. But I did and…I’m going to bed… 🙂

P.p.s the full image can be seen on Deviantart

Me Thoughts

Taboo

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I asked myself – when did nudity cease to be taboo for me, and why exactly did this happen? Where did that shyness, which has always been a significant part of me, go?

Apparently, things just appeared that scare me more than nudity. In a sense, the world around me became more naked than I am in my photos. But, probably, that’s not the point.

It’s hard to say what came first – the chicken or me, who started some kind of frank blog. And I remember that the first attempts were probably 6-7 years ago. Maybe even earlier. A long time ago, back in Odessa, we sold sex toys. Even then, the idea of opening a full-fledged store came to me. I had the desire and inspiration to write about all this. Moreover, even during my freelancing days (that’s, for a moment, when I was 21 years old) I think I already had to write some texts for a sex shop. Maybe memories just pop up in my memories of how we started selling such goods. Why am I here? In a broad sense, my openness to something like this was a long time ago. But the fact that nudity is the norm came to me with the beginning of the war, when my photos became more candid.

Open windows in European countries show that people have nothing to hide. The exposed skin in the pictures probably says the same thing..

Music Photos

Keep Falling

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This is a very, very old photo, about 15 years old. It’s a hole in the roof of one of the abandoned factories in Odessa. No one knows what it’s for, but looking into it from above you see a complete void. I made a processed version of the photo and added the original.

When I read the lyrics of this song, I remembered that photo…

“I don’t wanna be scared
But I really don’t get
Why do we have to go?
I know so many ways
But I don’t wanna be saved
Why do we have to go?

I try to make my path
I don’t know why you left
We all need someone
I try to let it be
You try to make me see
We all need someone
It’s not easy letting go

Feelings that I don’t know
I’m looking for a sign below
I’m so heavy
We may die young, but that’s okay
We can’t go on
’cause we keep falling down down down
But that’s alright, it’s alright”

I really like the guitar part in this song…

Sometimes I feel like I keep falling into that black abyss in the photo..

Projects

Workplace update

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Meanwhile, the workplace recently received an update, namely…

A couple of homemade shelves! I had some OSB left over from shelves…and a drawer under the battery…and a kitchen drawer…and a drawer for collecting money for the library (all of this was made from a couple of sheets), I decided that so that it wouldn’t lie in vain, I had to do something with it. And I always had tools lying around, no matter what. That’s how these two mini-shelves came about.

On one I have soldering equipment, which I use most often.

On the second one there are other devices like a spot welder, various connectors and tools. After I made the shelves, there was still some free space left. I didn’t decorate them especially, because.. “there is nothing more permanent than something temporary”. I am satisfied.

18+ Art Photos

Looking for your hand, looking for some hope.. (Art)

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“Looking for your hand, looking for some hope
When the tide comes in we sink so low
We are drowning
I loved you so long, now I need to go
When the waves crash down it gets so cold
We are drowning”(c)Luna Kills

The story of this work is somewhat interesting, because firstly, I am officially launching the “music photos” section. This is when the idea for the picture was inspired by some quote from a song. Secondly, I was supposed to implement the idea yesterday, but my camera, which I was supposed to use to do it, partially broke. So I postponed this idea until today with my second camera.

In general, it was the incident with the camera that made me make this work more “dark”. Although you are darker, considering that there was supposed to be a knife in the other hand? But since it happened and did happen, it seems that, in some ways, it even corresponds to the text more than before.

This picture is a compilation of three of my pictures taken within an hour. The elements are composed in the Gimp application. Tomorrow I will add some funny details from how I actually took it all.

Well. I did not manage to make the drops of blood on the cross and flowing from the cross visible. But I’ll move that to a separate post. For now, that’s it

Thoughts

Nothing is more infuriating than…

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Shit that happens to you at the most inconvenient moment. Today I found out that my Panasonic (which is “newer”) has a memory slot that is out of order…and the HDMI connector there…hard to say how it’s connected, but I’m not even interested. Looking at the reviews, I’m not the only one (and it happens to people that the data from the card is not read later) this is a problem with the model itself. And it all happened at the very moment when money was already tight…

It’s sad. Either because it happened right now, or because I really liked the camera. And I was joking just today that “I had to change the G90 to a second S5.” And the story ends with the fact that the G90 will remain the main camera, because there is no other.

It’s hard, it’s sad, let’s…move on..?

Thoughts

Mess

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There’s a mess in your head and in your life that you just can’t seem to get rid of. You try, but you feel like you’re constantly running out of time. For everything. To put something up for sale, to tidy up your table or yard. You want to be creative, but you don’t have time. You want to do something, but you don’t have enough time for everything. It’s as if someone is constantly stealing it from you… and summer passes, and the questions still aren’t closed with the feeling that you’ve piled up more plans than you could take out. Or just every time there’s something new and more important…

I sometimes turn on the save mode – when I think “nothing. Rest. It will get better later”, but that “later” still never comes.

If I had a psychologist, he wouldn’t like my thoughts. It’s symbolic when someone on Reddit, seeing your post with a photo, filed a complaint, and you received a message with “help lines.” But it’s not that bad. Yes, there are thoughts. Stupid thoughts. But this is not an option, at least now. When everything is not as scary as it could be. We just almost always don’t have money. Enough for basic needs, but no more. And again, there is a constant feeling that you have to do something to make them appear, although it depends little on you. It’s also not an option to go to work for $ 125 a month, because they won’t save you. They will probably make the psychological component worse, but it would be harder to get out of it. I’m fighting with myself, and only I know how difficult it can be sometimes. And the question is not whether I should take some medication or something else. This is the part that you have to control yourself. And sometimes it seems to me that I am such a puzzle, a couple of pieces of which were eaten by some cat, and, accordingly, it is impossible to assemble it. But I have crossed that Rubicon, when I could easily have rolled into the abyss. However, I myself, sometimes, am this abyss, which, as if sucking into the void everything that I do and what inspires me, and cannot somehow be filled, or something…

I’m increasingly thinking that the third tattoo would be the phrase “I do not deny the pain, I am her disciple.”

People Thoughts

Chemistry

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You can’t fool life – and you can’t fool yourself. There are just people with whom we have chemistry. It doesn’t depend on us or our wishes. It either exists or it doesn’t. I’m looking for this very chemistry. It’s a difficult process, where your puzzle pieces have to fit together to build a stable structure.

I think that over the years the chances of finding friends do not decrease. You just become more picky. But if you do manage to find one, it can be quite strong and long. The main thing is that both of you have a desire…

Art Photos

Dedication

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There are works that I make longer than the shooting took place. So is this one, which is a compilation of two shots. Again, I am in both parts.

I am the killer – I am the victim. This has a certain symbolism when we think about the fact that often the greatest harm is often done to ourselves. And our suffering is caused by our actions or thoughts.

This work is dedicated to the user naked-in-the-rain92. She was delighted with my other similar work. I promised her to do something better. This is still not the result I would be proud of, but it is closer :)

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