Toxic relationships

We finished watching the series The Outlaws, and it led me to a certain reflection related to people.

The series showed a toxic relationship between a girl who was smart, but had a “hobby” of stealing something, and a guy who was less fortunate in life and wanted a quiet life instead of survival. And so their acquaintance led to the fact that she became a kind of “adrenaline junkie” who constantly wanted thrills, and the guy, on the contrary, tried to avoid problems with the law and in general. The story of the relationship ended with her leaving him, getting off the train before it was sent, and he left “for a new life”. Six months later they met – she, with a bunch of problems and he, in the life he aspired to. And then, suddenly, she remembers that she is “extremely in love with him”, but he has the sense not to continue the relationship with her, but to build a new one with a person who suits him better. What thoughts did all this make me think?

With a certain periodicity, you scroll through your head the thought of why you don’t continue communicating with people you once liked? Inspired you, caused some feelings? That is, there is some kind of seed living in you that believes (or simply perceives from memories) that your life would be better if you resumed communication “with someone from…”. But something stops you from doing this. And I think it is understanding. First of all, understanding the fact that your paths diverged (mostly) not even because of you. So there is nothing to turn back, because each person simply went their own way at a certain time. But…

Having your “ears” you hear that these “bells are not one-sided.” And this is where we are caught up in this same story from the series, when you tell the hero “well…well I hope you won’t do this stupid thing?..because I’ll stop respecting you”, only the hero is you.

I know that things that were in the past should stay there. But the healthy half understands this. I think that every person consists of another part besides it – the emotional part, multiplied by the memory part. That is, your subconscious says “but memories and emotions can’t deceive you” – and they really do. They don’t deceive, because there, at 15-17-20 years old, you experienced feelings that were for the first time in your life. Apparently, this is what draws you to them. As for reality – during this time you managed to get burned many times after that, and you can’t throw the opposite experience out of your memory either. This is what stops you.

In one song they sang “we will never be younger than today”. I think this applies to people too – because we will never be the same as we once were. So the emotions will be different every time. And I think the emotions that we can get from new people can be even brighter than those that can happen when communicating with someone old.

It remains to somehow convey all this to your brain.