life

The divergence of planets

If you imagine our life as a universe, and people as planets – over time, different bodies approach each other, and then, on the contrary, move away. And you, literally with your own hands, see how this happens around you. How people with whom you saw a common vision and things begin to perceive differently what you do. And you come to understand that your worlds, or the universe, are changing. Everyone changes at a different speed. Is this critical?

I used to be very sad because of the thoughts that something could change, you could stop communicating with someone, someone could disappear from your life. Now there is an understanding that in most cases there are those who are “here and now”. You either become related to them and move on, or… everyone has their own path and their own universe.

Perhaps this was the perception earlier that with moving, people and contacts that were there would be lost. Because you will become useless to anyone on the one hand, and on the other – everyone will become useless to you. You will have a new circle of friends, new faces around you. Your own reality. And this is more of a plus than a minus. Because the new reality will perceive you as new. From my feed on Facebook, I see how they don’t perceive me and I see that this me is not needed by those who needed that one. And there haven’t been any major changes yet. I haven’t had a few more piercings in my other ear, tattoos, and in general, most of me still lives “behind the screen”.

I just want to live and not think about how people will perceive your appearance or your creativity. So as not to even bother with all this… that’s why I want to move…

The screeching of the hard disk was reminiscent of the past.

I connected an old hard drive to my computer, I needed to find a license key for a plugin. I came across old archives – music I listened to back then, a few photos…why do we cling to the old?..

The further you go, the more you resemble that meme when “the boy Kolya is 30 years old, and he still hasn’t decided what he wants to be when he grows up.” Apparently the question isn’t even who he wants to be, but rather who he doesn’t want to be, looking at others who are “over 30”.

When you look at vacancies – you have a constant feeling that “this is not the job for you, this is not about you”. Because you understand what kind of work it will be for 10-12 hours a day. On the other hand…what have you achieved? You missed all the opportunity to invest in something to be higher and better than what they can offer you now. You don’t have a fat paw up your ass that will pull you somewhere, so…what were you expecting?..

At such moments, it seems that you will just stay where you are and continue to do the same thing as before. Because then you will at least have free time. Otherwise…

I would like to do the same direction that I do now – repairing equipment, but everywhere only packers, assemblers, and other warehouse workers are needed. Which is sad. But how is it. Pros? You can get 2000-2500 euros without thinking about some courses and learning languages. But how long will you last in such a job when you don’t see life in general? Someone for a long time. Me?..I wouldn’t want to abandon the blog, photography, and just work for money. Because why do you need such a thing?..but there are not many other options now. So let’s think…

Someone gets the opportunity to go somewhere and they’ll arrange it for them, and someone…someone has to find their own place..

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