It’s somehow surprisingly easy. I’m used to my openness being a “bell” to the fact that “you can always get dumped,” and now I’m somehow too open. Do I feel something inside?
I have already set a certain “work deadline”, and this is perhaps another such bell to my ears that I should either start some kind of business by winter, or… let’s go back to the plans to “dump it into the sunset”? Now I have a clear understanding that if something doesn’t work out here, there is always a factory somewhere in the Czech Republic waiting for us. Today’s example of work showed that it doesn’t matter where you have to work hard – at the factory for 1.5k euros, or here for 127 euros. So, maybe it’s not so scary after all?..
I notice that I’m waiting for some sign to “break through.” To change something radically. And it would probably be nice to live with the thought that you’re “settled in place,” but it’s brighter to think that everything is still ahead.
I wouldn’t want to live to see the day when they tell me “it’s either this or that – you have no choice.” Because I want it to be.
I can already see that I don’t have enough strength to believe in myself and do something that would bring a normal income. Something stable and understandable. Because it was wrong to think that I would leave with what I have now. I won’t leave. I have never seen eel for sale in my life, and here it is available for 32 euro per kg. But at the same time, people are not ready to pay normal money for the work done. Wonder? Ugh…
I guess I want to invest in creativity. Find people “on the wave.” Who will say “Dude! You’re cool! Come to us, we’ll help you get settled! We need you here!” – and everything will turn around…
So… let’s put the wind in our sails…
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