In a broad sense, I just want silence now. No people, no conversations, no outside world. Only my inner self is sooooooooo limited socially. I don’t want new people. I don’t want to let anyone in at all. Because I don’t see the point in that. I’m a complete person and right now what I have in myself is enough for me to just move on with my life and do my thing. I don’t need people for that. At all.
Sometimes, life throws us answers to questions that worried us. In fact, all her “openness” was just a shell. Why? Because…today Instagram gave me her profile. No, not the one where she blocked me. Not a creative one. But a real profile. With her photo on the avatar and her real name. So…what is a fake person worth? Probably a fake attitude. Probably, we should tell more.
Usually people start left-wing accounts and write from them to always have the opportunity to disappear from your life. So all this communication was done immediately exclusively “for the sake of intrigue”, and not communication as such. With the opportunity to erase myself from my universe if something goes wrong. And this is probably convenient. But not entirely honest. Was this person a manipulator and an energy vampire? Now I think so. Because…everything says so.
So let’s just leave her behind and move on 🙂
The last few days have been very difficult and I feel like I lack some kind of support. But on the other hand, I don’t need it, because I don’t know what it should be. There is no force that would change anything in my life more than I can do on my own. But sometimes I don’t have enough strength to drag this world along.
Today, as an example, I was stopped by the police for the first time in my life. For…driving a three-wheeled electric scooter. I didn’t break anything, the scooter has a 1.5 kW engine and, accordingly, is not a mechanical vehicle according to our laws, so it doesn’t require registration and a license, but, at the same time, that’s exactly what they asked me for. Why? Because there was nothing else to complain about. I was driving according to the rules, the lights were on, I turned on the turn signal where it should be, we were both riding in helmets. Moreover, they specifically drove after us and caught up with us by about 1.5-2 kilometres. That is, they were driving after us purposefully. It’s hard to say whether it was to see if I was eligible for military service and why I’m still not fighting (they even asked me about the reason for my exclusion from the register), or to ask about the new transport in the city, but they let me go without any written or verbal warning. It’s hard to say what it was, but it’s unpleasant.
Often the world is tougher on us than it should be, because today, epically, I was almost hit by a car that didn’t let me through when I was driving on the main road. No matter how you say it, everyone is always “right” except me. Life? Ugh…
François Ozon’s films fall into two categories – either they captivate you, or… you are not satisfied with the number of same-sex and strange relationships, and you turn away from watching his films.
As a child, sometimes when asked “How are you?” people would answer “plus-minus”. This meant that something good or bad was happening in life.
Now a lot of things in my life are connected with electricity (in general, my ability to work depends on electricity and I get to work on an electric three-wheeled cargo scooter), but because of the shelling we have been without electricity for several days now. In my case, everything is not so bad, because I prepared the “ground of comfort” long before the war. And that’s why my house is mostly powered by the battery of an electric bicycle. Which I recently assembled. But for other people it’s getting worse, sometimes someone writes that people are “planning to leave”, but I think it’s more of a rumor, because those who wanted to leave have already managed to.
So today this is my work. So today I have a new drawing on myself…
..It’s only real if it scars you.. Read More
Sometimes I disappear for certain things, and now is one of those times. It’s a crazy time, a lot is happening, a lot of things that scare me, but which could be my new path.
The thing is, a month ago we started cleaning chimneys and…we have some success in this direction. This month I worked with a partner, but I came to understand that I take on most of the work (not least the equipment), and we need to somehow separate ourselves, because either you do something together and build something, or someone builds it on you. I don’t really like it, so I decided to work separately and make it a family affair. As a result, today they are going to send me a three-wheeled electric scooter (this is a little more than we planned when we wanted to buy a three-wheeled one with a roof this year) with a large body measuring 1.8*1.3 meters. This will help us both transport the equipment ourselves and do additional part-time work. If everything goes as planned, I will be happy to tell you about what exactly we bought and why.
But it’s also a big responsibility and a big investment (especially before the winter period, when you won’t be able to work very much). So first of all, all I can do now is try to earn money as quickly as possible to pay off the installments for this transport. Plus, the cold weather has suddenly arrived and we will be closing urgent issues around the house very quickly to meet the winter in warm conditions.
Of course, I would like to really invest in creativity right now, but right now it’s a bit too late and there are things I have to decide by the end of this year. If everything goes as I plan, then we will enter the spring with the opportunity to have a stable and constant income.
My Schwinn Town & Country is also a bit “sick” now, and I still can’t get it back to normal working order. I might have to replace the rear axle with a different design. But for now, there are more pressing issues. However, if the experience is successful, I’ll definitely write about that too.
“Холодними вітрами прямо до кісток, стій… Read More
I am a very soft person. And it is difficult for me because people are used to using it. You can even imagine how they see me as a fool who is being played by them. But the world is full of people who perceive kindness as weakness.
I once said that Sa is the part of me that softens my character. My cruelty. But, also, Sa is the part of me that protects me. And in such cases, it teaches me to take a tough position, defending my point of view. So… this work is exactly about that. About the fact that you need to listen to yourself, not others. And to value, first of all, yourself and those who are really close to you.
And everyone else should know their place in your world.
They are (supposedly) inedible, but oh…how beautiful!
Saint Creature