This is where it all started..
Saint Creature Come on over to your house, maybe move inPaint a picture for your mind, you’ll fit right in.. Read More
Comparison of pain
After certain events, I got used to comparing pain. Read More
In the Sun’s Warmth
From today’s trip through the forest Read More
The best way
It always seemed like there was a better option. In your profession, probably. That you “could be someone,” but there was always something missing for that. As one woman said the other day, “it’s good to plan everything for tomorrow, because tomorrow will always be tomorrow. And when today comes, you don’t want to do anything anymore.” But no, to each his own. Always and everywhere. You won’t settle for anything less, but you’re unlikely to jump over your head either, because you are you. With all your pluses and minuses. And you know what? That’s the whole thrill.
Sometimes it seems that life is a matrix after all, in which you have a certain level, below and above which you will not be, like any other person. There is simply a path that you have to follow. When you work at a store at the checkout – at the end of your work shift, everything has to be closed to zero. And so it is with life.
Moreover, I think that with people, somewhere, everything works the same way. Our relationships with other people, for example. At a certain stage we need to “change cars” and we change them, some relationships end – family or friendship, it doesn’t matter. And everything goes on. We try to perceive it as an experience, after which each subsequent experience will be different, but what if the experience is also a fiction? And it doesn’t teach us anything, no matter how much we think about it.
Why did drug addicts once make videos..?
Such as this.. Read More
Watched “Killing Is My Business, Honey” (2009)
Previously, the genre of “romantic action movies” was very popular, where despite the shooting, the thread that stitched the whole plot was…love.
All love is born in pain, do you remember?..
..That is the price we pay, to be together.. Read More
The engine is running rough
It’s hard to pull yourself together when you realize how shaky your financial situation is. Perhaps that’s why I can’t pull myself together right now and do what I have to do – blog and post photos (even old ones). But we have to live somehow?..
There are no things or people that would inspire me right now, and this is a certain problem. As well as the unwillingness to look for them, because there is an understanding that I simply don’t feel like doing it. But I see how I am losing my social capital because I don’t pay attention to blogs and the same Deviant, for example. People forget about you and you gradually become a ghost. Do you remember those who disappeared from your subscription feed? I think not.
I wanted to start that engine and make it work, but without me it won’t work. And I don’t have the internal time for another project. Isn’t that right? I only have time for money, because it also needs to be earned somehow.
It would be great to plan something 4-5 years ahead, but now you can’t even imagine how and where you’ll be in a year, or if you will be at all.
Madness grows under favourable conditions…
When the streets are silent, the underground will speak!
I asked myself today..
What exactly do I want? What is my goal?..
Yes, for objective reasons and because of the financial crisis that is currently sweeping the world (in Ukraine it is because of the war, in Europe because of refugees from Ukraine who are there because of the war, in America it is because of… well, you know). In addition to this crisis, there is also what is called “artificial intelligence”, when many people are fired, and others have to work much more than usual just to stay in their place and not be fired. So… what’s the plan, boy? There is no point in you moving anywhere precisely because of all these reasons. But what do you want, somewhere inside?
Of course, I would like some stability and an understanding of what kind of world you will wake up in tomorrow. And so far I don’t objectively see any possibilities to live in such a world. Yes, probably the only option here is to “pack your bags and go to New Zealand, which is far away, where English is needed and where you are not needed as “some kind of specialist”. Otherwise, you are still not insured. So?…
I think that I really, at least for now, have no options to even think about them. I just have to hold on and somehow try to survive this period. Therefore, I look at all the options that are offered and try not to lose the little that I still have. Because the crisis is stronger than it might seem. And it is only starting to drag on. I see this in the ability to buy something from people. This is a clear sign that everything is “very bad”.
I want to develop an English-language blog (this is the main one), create creativity, and… live. If I want to do this, then it is better to do it all in the place where I am now. It is time to change something and in general there will be more, well, no, no. I am tired of being upset because I can’t be what I can’t be.