Lightness

I noticed that after military service (or rather, the suicide attempt?) lightness with which you write texts disappeared.

That is, it is difficult for you to share something vividly, even if this “brightness” is only in your head. You simply write dry text with facts, no more and no less. I ask myself from time to time why this is so. I come to the conclusion that something emotional also died with the “military unit”. Did it disappear even before that?

There are things that are clearly inflicted on the psyche by military experience, but you cannot demand any compensation from the state for this, although you would have every right to do so. But at such moments it is considered that “the state owes you nothing.” And what do I owe it then? Apparently, nothing either.

I will find the strength and inspiration to write texts. Because for me it is a kind of meditation. And I will return to photography fully. The body just needs time to recover and be itself again, or even more. So now I am just going through a kind of internal rehabilitation…

“Everything is stuck with plaster, smeared with fresh paint,
a lot of minor work has been carried out.
How to return to another life,
which seems like a fairy tale, when everything has been renovated?…”