This world wasn’t made for me
Saint Creature In a strange way, each of the five songs on the album resonates with me at one point or another. Read More
August 2025
In the land of Gods and Monsters I was an angel…
“In the land of Gods and Monsters
I was an angel living in the garden of evil
Screwed up, scared, doing anything that I needed
Shining like a fiery beacon
You got that medicine I need
Fame, liquor, love, give it to me slowly
Put your hands on my waist, do it softly
Me and God, we don’t get along
So now I sing”
Sandwich with sausage and cheese
The mystery of this picture is that this “sandwich” is both conventional and not. The point is that the picture was taken with a thermal camera. Or rather, three pictures were taken. First, I took a picture of a piece of toasted bread. Then a piece of sausage. Then a piece of cheese. So the picture consists of three images of different foods that were printed on one piece of paper. So technically it’s a printed sandwich.
Immortals
“..So let them
Burn us
Together we will
Rise up
We’re going higher
Going up, going up
Don’t you know that
We are immortals”(c)Halflives
New mAge
The image was taken in one shot. Without Photoshop and AI. I am the model, my wife took the picture. One of the first works of this kind.
More to come…
Child
I wanted some kind of expression. Something that I definitely haven’t done before. And this is it. The devil is in the details, so to create this inscription…paint was used. Paint and sperm. Bringing a double meaning to the work.
We always know where a person is born from, but we never know where our creativity comes from? From people? From feelings? I think that people and feelings serve as a kind of trigger. In fact, every work is born from something else. From love? From the desire to convey the inner world and find people like us? I don’t know. Because often the people who are inspired by our creativity don’t inspire us. Or vice versa, we love someone else’s creativity, but we are ignored. Although it seems to you that all you need is for a person to maintain contact.
My creativity is born from darkness. Not abstract or fantasy. From the darkness of my soul. That’s probably why I often have “bloody” works. That’s probably why I often use the red colour of light. Because blue is cold, and green is nothing. Only in red do I see things the way I would like to see them.
She should be ten in a little over a week. If you made something with papier mache and you have paper left over – it’s just garbage. Leftovers from work. If you wanted a child, and got a tombstone – this work that I did today is probably the best thing you can use such material for.
This Is The End
“This is the endSo long my friendsStars always seem to fadeIt’s a little to late to…With bloodstained handsI make amendsStars always seem to fadeIt’s a little to late to start over again”(c)The Warning
In general, this is the end of this relationship. Quiet, calm. As if nothing is finished, but, in general, no one obliges me to somehow more or less meaningfully respond to comments.
Sometimes, to understand that you and a person are at different poles, you need a little more. A couple of words, a couple of days. A couple of thoughts. There are certain things that trigger me. This is the fact that a person has a secure life, and she “doesn’t know what to do”, and you think whether she will be able to earn money somewhere, or whether it would be easier to shorten her life. And already at this point you have strong disagreements. Yes, we are united by the view on creativity (in places) and music, but otherwise… you can never cling to a person just because they like what you create. You need to cling to those who, first of all, inspire you with their creativity. Who lives it.
She was unpleasant to communicate by e-mail. And it was felt. She replied because she felt obligated, but overall it’s not her topic. It’s sad. I also know she didn’t visit this blog, so thoughts were always freely expressed here. Because you’re not interesting enough to a person to delve into this world.
I think that communication exclusively in the realm of creativity is the little that can be left. But I bet it will last until the “next victim” who again wants more active communication. And she will switch to someone else. Only a matter of time…
However, I still came to the conclusion that this is really a passion for my work. Looking at the reaction to other people’s work. However, again, what difference does it make?..I can give her what she needs, but I don’t get what I need..
Do you feel alive?..
“So do you feel alive?
Where’s the light inside your eyes?
You sold your soul on a plate of gold
You don’t know who you are no more…” Read More
Pie with Love and Anger
“Hatred for nits, love for one’s neighbor
They mix the dough, their faces are the dough (mm)
When they bake I will eat a pie with love, anger
Love is more (No!)” Read More
Dualism
Actually, I would (probably) like it to last longer than a week. Because I feel like I’m in a crowded room. I mean, I’m used to being given attention as if it were me. I usually only communicate with one person at a time. Am I jealous? Yes. I’m the kind of person who wouldn’t be jealous of their partner in terms of sex, because it’s just sex, but I’m… jealous of deep communication with someone? But I don’t think so either. I feel like I’m jealous of people other than my own. That is, I’m jealous of those who should be jealous of me. It’s funny.
I’m glad for the inspiration that these relationships give me, but if you list the works I’ve done, you can come to the conclusion that about 4 out of 5 are created not for joy, but for pain. When you gnaw out an emotion from yourself because of an internal dispute.
And she also agreed that we need a break until the end of the week. So…so, I guess there will be enough communication in the comments. I don’t want personal communication, to get into someone’s life and in general. Because I’m starting to fall in love with a person somehow stupidly, and not in the sense that it’s controlled or uncontrolled – I just know how painful these consequences will be for me. This is not the person I should love – I know that for sure. And “Sa” tells me “if not to love, then what’s the point of it all?” And I don’t know what to answer her. I just feel that this infatuation will come out sideways for me. And I just know that this person doesn’t need me. She’s interested in me as a freak. As something unusual that’s not in her collection yet. That’s why she has such an attitude towards my work. Because it’s atypical for a man. It’s not bad, you just have to understand that we’ll never be friends in the broad sense. Because I’ll always be left at a certain distance. So… a break in communication until the end of the week, but, in general, it doesn’t matter… how long it lasts.