March 2025

The best way

Saint Creature March 10, 2025 No Comments

It always seemed like there was a better option. In your profession, probably. That you “could be someone,” but there was always something missing for that. As one woman said the other day, “it’s good to plan everything for tomorrow, because tomorrow will always be tomorrow. And when today comes, you don’t want to do anything anymore.” But no, to each his own. Always and everywhere. You won’t settle for anything less, but you’re unlikely to jump over your head either, because you are you. With all your pluses and minuses. And you know what? That’s the whole thrill.

Sometimes it seems that life is a matrix after all, in which you have a certain level, below and above which you will not be, like any other person. There is simply a path that you have to follow. When you work at a store at the checkout – at the end of your work shift, everything has to be closed to zero. And so it is with life.

Moreover, I think that with people, somewhere, everything works the same way. Our relationships with other people, for example. At a certain stage we need to “change cars” and we change them, some relationships end – family or friendship, it doesn’t matter. And everything goes on. We try to perceive it as an experience, after which each subsequent experience will be different, but what if the experience is also a fiction? And it doesn’t teach us anything, no matter how much we think about it.

The engine is running rough

Saint Creature March 5, 2025 No Comments

It’s hard to pull yourself together when you realize how shaky your financial situation is. Perhaps that’s why I can’t pull myself together right now and do what I have to do – blog and post photos (even old ones). But we have to live somehow?..

There are no things or people that would inspire me right now, and this is a certain problem. As well as the unwillingness to look for them, because there is an understanding that I simply don’t feel like doing it. But I see how I am losing my social capital because I don’t pay attention to blogs and the same Deviant, for example. People forget about you and you gradually become a ghost. Do you remember those who disappeared from your subscription feed? I think not.

I wanted to start that engine and make it work, but without me it won’t work. And I don’t have the internal time for another project. Isn’t that right? I only have time for money, because it also needs to be earned somehow.

It would be great to plan something 4-5 years ahead, but now you can’t even imagine how and where you’ll be in a year, or if you will be at all.