When we arrived at our unit, we were greeted by the sign above the entrance “Welcome to Hell.”

Sometimes it seems to me that my life is going to hell, although I hear a machine-gun fire outside the window, an explosion from a shot down target or an incoming flight, and I understand that life cannot go where it already is. So… is it so scary to die with debts? I think not. It’s unpleasant, but not fatal. I try to solve all the issues at the same time. The bank reports “strange things with my account,” and sometimes I’m left wondering – which will come first, a house arrest or card blocking? Oh…

As for someone who wanted to finish the year without debts and loans – I took on (too) big a burden, which I have to somehow bear. I need to somehow survive these two months, not burn out in all this (I mean in employment), take it all out and emerge victorious. And I believe that it will be easier for me from spring, because there will be a full-time job, I will be able to fully establish myself and… I still have to reach it. In every sense.

I made a big bet. I actually bet everything on the idea that I would be a chimney sweep. They asked me, “Sa, what are you sure about?” and I answered – on what I do physically. Because that’s the only thing that’s real. Only what you do with your hands, they can’t take away from you. Because you do it yourself. With these same hands. And I believed in this idea so much that we had Zhuzhik. In fact, for the last savings. Another scrap of savings went to a lithium battery for him, which hasn’t arrived yet. It’s funny, but it can cost almost half of its cost.

We will have almost no work in the winter, so you shouldn’t expect me to take anything out in the winter. Yes, a couple of jobs may happen. But this is not something that will save my financial situation. Something that will save it a little – I do it anyway. As much as I can afford it.

I need a person, but right now they are not in my environment. I say to myself “oh… there is this one” – but I catch myself thinking that this or that one will not give me right now what I need from him or her. Those who are there need my attention themselves, not the other way around. And I want some kind of support, or a physical presence. I would like to find a “ghost person” – someone to share music with. Someone with whom we could run into something via Steam, three or four of us. A living person, not that’s all. But I don’t have the resources right now to think about it right away. I’m even afraid to write to a local group about whether there are even such “dinosaurs” like us who play something cooperative at 30+ years old. Although… I finally took a risk. Let’s see…