Fun Fiction

Once, in a conversation with her about her feelings after moving, she quoted the movie “Green Book”. In general, the term “Green Book” itself is about a guide for black people, which lists safe places where they could stay for the night. And, in fact, the quote from the movie sounded like “I’m not black enough for blacks and not white enough for whites”. And today I somehow tried it on myself. Apparently, I’m not straight enough for straight, but also not enough…anyone else for someone? Apparently. I don’t use “them/they” in everyday life, not in general. I don’t want to get hung up on something like that. Sometimes I think about what it’s like to be with someone of the same sex, but the problem is that in our country, men are not about sexuality, but about dirt, sloppiness, an unpleasant smell. That is, you can’t somehow visualize this character, if only because you simply don’t have any source from which to draw.

When I put, for example, people I know – the picture comes out too stupid, to be honest. Because I don’t like these people. They don’t evoke anything in me. In my life, there have probably only been a few people who would evoke something. But usually they are very distant.

I don’t want to speculate about anything. As life goes on, so it will be. I guess I’m just too picky. I guess these are strange considerations from a married man. But I perceive it all differently. It’s like a fan fiction for some story.