Comparison of pain

After certain events, I got used to comparing pain. Separating the internal from the physical. And when it starts to seem to me that something physically hurts – I remember the internal pain. The one I once felt. And at that moment everything else disappears, because you remember what really hurts. Because physical pain is temporary, and what’s inside you smolders like coals.

When the moment comes that I have nothing to oppose – I start looking for what I could.

In general, I thought about these or those punctures, what’s next, and in general. If I no longer have the opportunity to go to another place and exist in a different reality, then at least I can change something in myself.

One half of me gets a job locally for relatively little money. The other saves money for an emergency. I asked myself – what will my health certificate be abroad? And I realized that there are two options – either it will not be accepted there and I, too, can become a soldier again, or, if I accept the condition that is indicated – I will have significant restrictions on life. So for now, it’s better this way and it’s better here. And what’s next – that’s what will happen next.

“Come on!
Let’s increase the kilometers between us..
Come on!
Let’s mix the paints on the palette..
Come on!
For you I will become the east wind..
Come on!
Let’s stop looking for the light..
Come on!
Let’s not hold hands..
Come on!
Let’s go in different directions..
Come on!
Without fresh wounds, old ones are deep..
Come on!
It’s not too late, it’s not too late yet…

The pressure in my head, in the arteries everything about you
The curves have become closed – with oxygen the last to the sky..”