Green Flags

As I continue to study myself, I ask myself what is “ok” for me and what is not. It’s amazing how it has changed over time…

Internally, you don’t feel this time, and your perception of people and relationships is about the same as when you were 20. Not in a good way. Because you remained the same complexed self, but you found yourself in an environment where the rules have changed a long time ago. Someone has already gone through a divorce, someone (most?) has children. I would say more, when a person is over 30 and still without children – this should raise more questions than having them. Therefore, theoretically, you perceive a person with a child more calmly than when you were 20-25. Because you internally understand that you are already an adult and this is already the norm. On the other hand, people of this age already have, relatively, adult children.

The second point that you miss is understanding yourself. That is, in the sexual plane, a person has already studied himself and can clearly tell you what is “ok” for him and what is not. Compared to the age of 20, this is the time when you understand your needs and, more often, are ready for some experiments. Variety. Therefore, most things are easier to talk about openly than to guess on coffee grounds. This makes life easier, because many moments do not drag on for years, but become clear almost immediately.

Work is an important aspect of adult life. But, also, from the opposite, people after the age of 30 clearly know “who they became when they grew up”, because rarely at this age someone changes their main profile. At 20 you think that “the world is at your feet”. At 30 you see whether it happened as expected or not. Priorities change. Especially if you have children, a stable job. You are no longer looking for someone who will provide for your basic needs. But, at the same time, you come to understand that you need a reliable person nearby. Who will be your “rear”. Will look after the same children if necessary. A person’s priorities change over time, and you, as a person who has lived outside this universe, cannot understand how this world works. Their world is unknown to you.

Relationships in 30+ on the one hand should be more understandable, on the other hand…or for you? Because internally you are used to something else. There is an opinion that this is why adult men start relationships with younger people. Because they don’t know what to do with those who are their age. But, also, they understand how stupid they were at that age.

The rules of the game have changed, and it seems like you’re playing on a field you don’t know the rules of. In every sense. Maybe that’s why you first need to figure out what and how. Because it’s all strange somehow…